There's this story that stuck with me as a child...

An email in honour of Viraj Gautam | He/Him | 04.27.1995 - 04.02.2013 ️‍  

Rest in Power, Friend.

There’s an old Buddhist story that I remember reading as a child, that stuck with me. 

It’s the story of a young woman, newly married, with a one-year-old child. Her child suddenly gets sick, and then passes away, and the young woman becomes overcome with an overwhelming sadness and grief. 

Eventually, unable to handle her sadness, she went to visit a Bhuddist monk, who sent her off to visit Buddha himself. As the story goes, Buddha saw her and her sadness and empathized, and told her that the only way he could bring her child back was if she could bring a few mustard seeds from a household that had never experienced loss.  

As the young woman went from house to house, hopeful to find mustard seeds and bring her child back to life, she eventually learned that she would not be able to find those mustard seeds — because every household, in some form, had navigated loss and hardship. 

The story is meant to teach us that every one of us navigate through forms of loss and suffering. But for me, there’s something even stronger that I took from that story. 

I learned that having a community, and sharing your stories with other folks navigating the same thing, is a part of the healing journey. That it is only with the sharing of our stories, and our navigation of them, that we find the strength in each other to pick ourselves up and keep on going. 

Because if not — the stats itself are pretty heartbreaking. 

In any given year, 1 in 5 Canadians will experience depression. 

By the age of 40, 50% of the population will have, or have had, a mental health condition. 

And from the ages of 15-24, death by suicide is the second leading cause of death, second to accidents. 

Add in the intersections of identity that some might face, and the statistics get so much worse. 

In fact, LGBTQ youth have approximately 14 times the risk of suicide and substance abuse than their heterosexual peers, And those close to the poverty line are most likely to have a relapse in mental health — often the most marginalized individuals who navigate multiple intersections in their identity.  

Now, more than ever is the time where we need to step outside of these statistics and remember that the people we love most can become a part of these statistics if we don’t take action. 

It's easy — it's SO easy to take the people in our lives for granted. 

Because whilst we talk about the mental health in our communities openly with less fear than we once had, we limit these conversations to specific hashtag days, and for moments of positioned vulnerability. It takes a global pandemic, it seems, to remind ourselves to take the time out of our busy schedules to nourish and care for the friendships and relationships we have — to make the phone calls, and check-in with those we care for most.

Our world is teetering on the edge of something huge — in how we treat each other, in how we communicate with each other, and how we care for each other. 

So forget just waiting for the days with hashtags, and planned moments of social media vulnerability. 

Today, I send this email as a gentle reminder that every single person in our lives leaves an impact; often bigger than we could ever realize. 

Call the friends you love. Message the old roommates from university, the former colleague you used to love grabbing coffee with, check-in with the childhood best friend that you only catch up with once every two years. 

And if it’s been a minute since you heard me say it myself:  

I hope you know that I appreciate you. 

I appreciate your heart. 

I appreciate your love. 

I appreciate your kindness. 

And I appreciate your existence, and the beautiful ripple effect that your energy and presence has in the lives of everyone around you.   

And so today, and always, I hope your days are filled with love, laughter, and light — and that you continue to pass it on to add to the lives of others.

Love & Warmth always, 

Jenny Jay  

P.S: Need a friend to talk to? Hit reply and lets chat — my inbox and my heart is open.